Depression From Frustrations

[Supporting Your Husband Dealing With Frustration]


Depression can come from goals and dreams that did not become a reality. Many people may live the rest of their lives trying to chase the opportunities that they think will lead them to their goals, but sadly some opportunities knock only once.

“There seems to be a misunderstanding that depression is crying all of the time and not getting out of bed. However, increased irritability is a common symptom,” says Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D, LCSW.


Frustrations can happen to a marriage. Many get frustrated over unachieved goals. A husband may get frustrated from not being able to buy the dream house his wife always wanted. A wife may get frustrated from not being able to bear a child. There are also other matters that can discourage a couple such as not getting their dream job, not having a car, not being able to send the kids to the best school, not being able to spend a holiday away from town, and many more.

“They have inexplicable mood swings, and find that nothing their co-workers, friends, family, children, or partner does is right,” says John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

These frustrations may develop into depression when one does not let go of the feeling. A husband may feel unworthy and responsible for the disadvantages his family has to face. Depression, as we all know, can consume someone who is not strong enough or who does not have a support system to help him overcome it. As a partner, it is one’s obligation to support a partner to get over a frustration.


What Are The Things A Wife Can Do To Support His Frustrated Husband?

  • Don’t blame him for misfortunes. Remember that you are partners, and you must have your husband’s back. If he fails at something, don’t act as if he wanted it to happen. He is twice as affected as you are.


  • Be the source of encouragement. Never let your husband feel hopeless by giving him a cold treatment. As much as possible, be the light in the dark even though you may be in the dark yourself. How do you do that? Stay positive, and encourage him to try again, and that you got his back no matter what.


  • If he gets mad about something, keep your silence and listen. Maybe he needs to vent out and have someone to hear him. If you need to give him space, then so be it. Let him know it is okay to pause, and later on, he will find the will to start all over, and that you are still there. “Allowing emotions to be a part of your relationships keeps you and the relationship healthy, and the lines of communication stay open,” says Michelle Farris, LMFT.


  • Cook delicious meals. Let him know that he is important and you still respect him the same regardless of his shortcomings or failures. It is vital that he senses your love, respect, and support despite the odds. You are the source of his strength and pride, so make sure to be strong yourself.

A depressed partner can mean that there are things you have done or may not have done. Reach out and find out what you can do to contribute to the wellness of your partner. Communication always plays a vital role in making a relationship healthy. As a wife, you must bring up your husband. You are the partner after all. If you don’t do it, then who will? Fight alongside your husband. Do not be another battle he has yet to win.