I have an anxiety ailment, and I can’t quickly get rid of my inner severe medical illness struggle. I am safe and not feeling suicidal at the moment, but I am not sure how to handle the emotional pressure.
Understanding The Few Psychological Thoughts In Your Head
There are people suffering from suicide risk and mental disorders. Of all suicide rates of deaths, 58% occur between the ages of 15–49 years, which indicates the large magnitude of potentially productive years of life lost. Adverse childhood experiences have been implicated in a range of negative health outcomes in adulthood, including cognitive health and suicide death. However, I’m sure I’ll get rid of my cognitive disorders and end my life eventually. In fact, I can’t remember a time that I didn’t experience my illness because I think about having lifetime suicide attempts almost every day. Such thoughts can be a bit scary and exciting at the same time. I know I can have the best day of my life, but once that happiness is over, evaluating suicide danger starts to linger, and sometimes, even suicide prevention interventions and organizational suicide prevention policy can no longer help.
I wake up most mornings thinking about my psychological health condition and begin to internally discuss whether I would self-harm and be better off dead. It’s a different kind of feeling because I know I wasn’t supposed to be a suicide threat, but I couldn’t help the turmoil and suicidal behavior and feelings. It’s like an actual itch that I can’t scratch. It’s as if there’s a dark cloud of self-harming thoughts and the risk of suicide that shrouds all over me. Again, I couldn’t mend my suicidal behavior and thoughts and stop thinking about my medical illness.
“In neurotic depression, the conflict is experienced as internal. You look in the mirror and think you’re a slob, fat or pimply, or balding. You say something incorrect in class and think how stupid you are. You move through life as if you are a short-tempered nanny with an ugly or annoying baby. Your depressive lens for interpreting the reactions of other people makes you want them to agree with you that the baby is an intolerable burden,” writes Michael Karson, Ph.D., J.D.
“Without experiencing that others know us, or are able to, we are left feeling alone — at times, despairingly so,” writes Leon F Seltzer, Ph.D.
Drowning With Unwanted Dark Emotions While Handling Isolation
A Loved one may tell me that they know how I am mentally and emotionally, that they know my health condition. But the truth is, they don’t know my risk factors and my known psychiatric disease. I’m drowning with unwanted dark suicidal ideation, and I feel like I’m in isolation, and there’s no air to breathe. I no longer have that psych energy to come down from my self-harming thoughts and tendencies. I know these health situations are not my reality, and I am sure I have things to live for, but it seems not enough to end my life before it’s time. I know that people, including loved ones around me, love me so much, and those who are displeased with me don’t matter, but who cares? People who support me often say that things might get better despite my condition, but how? When will my several conditions and lifetime suicidal ideation leave me alone for the betterment of my cognitive illness?
Exactly Where I Am Right Now With My Health Condition?
According to a World Health Organization expert, A suicidal and mentally disturbed person like me lives in dark places and suicidal risk areas to deal with my mental disorder.
It isn’t just one day that I perfectly know when to decide to end it. It feels like years of suicide risks and mental disorders reflect even on good days. This feeling from the conditions I have right now creates something that makes me want to hate every person in this world. It makes me a suicidal risk. It’s not like I’m enjoying the situation of my health; I sincerely swear I would want these suicide risk factors and cognitive illness to disappear. But as of now, I just can’t drop off these mental illnesses’ risk factors and report poor mental health.
For me, every day is a hard journey to get stronger and happier with this suicidal ideation and psychiatric diagnosis. Though I know those are not impossible to attain with organic mental disorders, it still doesn’t make any sense to me. I can’t think of my psychiatric illness right now because I feel like the only way to stop me from being a suicidal risk is to get some sleep. But then again, I know I have to wake up and endure this mental pain of thinking about self-harming. I am lonely, hopeless, anxious, suicidal, and have depressive symptoms. It’s almost like I am dealing with a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Bipolar Disorder and other trauma-related disorders.
The Most Relevant Factors For Suicide:
- Prior suicide attempt(s)
- Misuse and abuse of alcohol or other drugs
- Poor patient’s mental health, mental disorders, particularly major depressive disorder, mood disorders, and additional psychiatric affective disorder.
- Access to lethal means
- Family history
- Social isolation
- Chronic disease and disability
- Lack of access to specialist mental healthcare institutions and public health
Final Thoughts With Takeaways To Consider
So why do I want to commit suicide? Well, I don’t know. I don’t have substance abuse disorders. Maybe it’s because I am just tired and fed up with my life, or I have several connected known mental health conditions, or part of the effects of depression in infertile women. However, I do need to work on suicide prevention efforts and stress-coping strategies.
Or maybe, just maybe, I don’t deserve to live at all.
Whatever mental disorders I might have, I know one thing is for sure: I’m not mentally okay, and I need mental health services for my situation, mental health care, and self-harming tendencies.
I heard about community programs in counseling women and men that support people with the same mental health problems that I have. They offer group therapy as well, where individuals share their stories and somehow support each other. I think it could help me and a lot of people with mental health problems and prevent suicide deaths through suicide prevention guideline implementation.
“It is important that you address the cause or causes of your suicidal thoughts in as far as possible, for example, a mental disorder such as depression or alcohol dependence, a difficult life situation, or painful memories,” writes Neel Burton M.D.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can Mental Breakdowns Cause Suicide?
Mental breakdowns can be a severe psychological state that can increase suicide risk. However, they are not the only factor, and not everyone experiencing a mental breakdown will attempt suicide.
What Are The 10 Risk Factors Of Suicide?
Suicide attempts, mental health conditions, drug addiction, familial suicide, and environmental stress are risk factors. Public health also includes cultural issues, social isolation, and mental health care gaps.
What Causes Mental Illness?
Several factors may cause mental illness, including genetics, environmental stress, and underlying health conditions.
What is the leading cause of death in mental illness?
Although the leading cause of death varies, suicidal thoughts and actions are severe, especially in people with mental illnesses.
What are the 5 risk factors for mental disorders?
Family history, trauma, substance abuse, chronic diseases, and stress increase heart disease risk.
Which mental disorder has the highest global suicide mortality rate?
Disorders like major depression and schizophrenia are often cited for having a high suicide mortality rate.
What is considered a severe mental illness?
Usually, serious illnesses such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and severe depression are typically considered severe. Effective treatment and support are crucial to help manage these conditions and prevent suicide.
What are some rare mental disorders?
Disorders like Cotard’s Syndrome and Pantothenate Kinase-Associated Neurodegeneration are rare but severe.
What are the 7 main mental disorders?
Depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, PTSD, OCD, and eating disorders are prevalent mental diseases.
What is the easiest mental illness to treat?
Conditions like mild depression or generalized anxiety disorder are often easier to treat with existing health care methods.
How can people cope with mental health?
People can cope by seeking professional help, leaning on a support network of family and community, and developing healthy coping mechanisms. Counseling and hotlines for suicide prevention are also crucial.
What are the risk factors for depression and suicide?
Factors include family history, previous suicide attempts, substance abuse, and underlying mental health conditions.
Which person is most at risk for developing a mental illness?
Those with a family history of mental illness, traumatic life experiences, or chronic health conditions may be more at risk.
Why is it important to take care of your mental health?
Proper mental health care is crucial for overall well-being and can significantly reduce the risk of developing further health conditions or making a suicide attempt.
What is the relationship between psychiatric disorders and suicidal acts?
Psychiatric disorders can significantly increase the risk of suicidal acts, making mental health treatment a vital component in suicide prevention efforts.