What are the signs that a man is cheating on their partner? Are they a womanizer? What are the signs of a womanizer? Do men who cheat still deserve to be forgiven and loved by their original partners?
Must women accept them again in their lives? How do you know the guy you are dating is the real thing and not just some cheater who’s going to disappear? While the only way to know for sure is to pass the test of time, here is a story with a few red flags:
Signs I Noticed From People
When I opened my clinic for marriage counseling for the first time in town, various organizations asked me to become a woman keynote speaker at their events regarding women, marriage, and relationships in general.
For instance, if the question were, “As a woman, how do you keep the love alive after many years of marriage?” The most complex question from a woman is, “Why am I not enough as the only woman for my husband?”
I would typically hear this question from depressed women wives who get cheated on by their spouses at least once. It is challenging to answer these women mainly because the truth would hurt the woman who’s asking for it. After all, women were naturally drawn to people they hoped to fix, even though not everyone wanted to be fixed. Women are even called “slaves of love”, because of the lengths they will reach just for love and their loved ones, which includes their partners and husbands.
This woman, Mary, came up after my guest-speaking session.
The woman said, “I wanted to go to the mic and ask a marriage-related question, but I was too embarrassed to talk about my marital problems in front of my women friends.”
“I understand. Would you like to come by my clinic? Tomorrow would be nice.”
Signs of a Womanizer?
After exchanging pleasantries with Mary the next day, she told me her story.
“Jim and I had been married for five years now. During the first year of our marriage, I caught him kissing a random woman in his car, but he said that that woman just hopped in the passenger’s seat and grabbed him.”
“And you believed him?” I asked curiously, because I knew that was one of the signs of a womanizer.
Mary looked down. “Yes, I did, but a small part of me did not want to believe it. Then, shortly after that, I got pregnant with our only son. The thought of my husband being with another woman did not cross my mind again until I heard his phone ring while he was in the shower in the hospital where I gave birth. I looked at it and saw that it was an MMS of another woman’s naked breasts,” this woman confessed.
“What did you do?”
The woman sighed and said, “I confronted Jim, of course. I was livid; I wanted him to go away. But he kept reminding me of our newborn son and how I should not rob him of the chance of having a whole family just because of one mistake,” Mary uttered.
I knew where Mary’s story was going, but I allowed this woman to continue for the benefit of the doubt. It turned out that she kept catching her husband in comprising situations which showed Jim being a womanizer. The worst part was that he never admitted to anything. He told Mary that she’s either delusional or making him look bad in other women’s eyes, although all the pieces of evidence indicated that he got signs of a womanizer.
Woman Victim of a Womanizer
“What can I do to make my husband faithful? I have done everything I can think of. I got back into shape; I started wearing sexier clothes. Jim would appreciate my efforts, but I knew that he kept seeing other women behind my back,” Mary said sighing, teary-eyed.
“Well, I know that no one wants to hear this, but there is nothing you can do about a habitual womanizer. The problem already started when you allowed your husband to get away without any consequence when you saw him kissing another woman in his car. While there is a chance that that woman genuinely jumped in the car and kissed him, he could have pushed the woman away, but he did not,” I explained carefully.
Mary sighed. “You are right.”
“As for the other cheating with other women incidents that your husband always denied,” I continued, “It may finally be time to see it in a different light. Sometimes, womanizers keep saying that they did not do anything wrong because they thought it was okay to cheat, not because they were really innocent. In that case, you should think of the best action to protect yourself as a woman and your kid.”
“Does this mean that my marriage can no longer be saved?” she asked sighing.
“Only you can decide on that,” I replied also sighing. “However, based on what you told me about Jim’s womanizing habits going on for years – even when you just gave birth to his son – I find that alarming. It likely meant that he was living a double life, or he no longer respected you as a woman. Either can’t be worse than the other, frankly speaking.”
Mary went home that day, at a loss for words. On her next visit, though, she informed me that she kicked her husband out of the house because she found him lying about a new extramarital womanizing affair again.
“I had been fooled for too long. Enough was enough,” she said with conviction.
Concluding Signs of A Womanizer
Women who have spouses that have the habit of entertaining other women despite being married must face consequences of their actions. These men must think and reflect of their choices.
Hopefully, all the women with habitual womanizers as their spouses would wake up from their romantic dream of “fixing” their men. It could happen, of course, but if years already passed, and there was no change in the man’s behavior as a womanizer, it’s alright to throw in the white flag and give him up. It’s for your sanity as a woman, after all.
“When you really like or love someone, it’s hard to imagine your life without them. They may add something fun and thrilling that you don’t want to let go of. But when you’re dating a cheater , you’re opening yourself up to be lied to, manipulated, and even used solely for his benefit. You should feel supported and valued in your relationship. If you don’t, it’s time to call it quits.”